Finding Peace

"And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children." Isaiah 54:13

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but, um.... our world of kind of scary. Like wars, random crazy shootings, scary nasty super contagious diseases, financial insecurity, kids thinking they should be able to get handouts because they exist, lack of respect of anything or anyone, and the list goes on. Life is hard. And can be scary. But we can have peace.

As a parent, I can see that my kids are going to have to deal with an even crazier world. I want to send them into that world with as much as I can give them. I wouldn't drop my kids off for a long hike without water, food, shoes, a map or compass, so why would I want to send them into the scary unknown without a way to find peace??
Christ is the giver of peace. Without Him, there is no purpose in life. There is no hope. Only He can give us the light in our dark times. I hope, if there's one thing that truly sticks with my children, it is Faith in Christ. Hope for good things to come. So when things aren't looking so good, they can find peace.

"Cast not away therefore your confidence"

Sometimes things are tough. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Difficult things help us see what we can get through and help us understand who we really are.
However, when the tough times arrive, you have to be prepared. You can't start preparing then.

For me, a personal testimony of Jesus Christ and the Restored Gospel as found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is especially important. As things change in the world around us, we have to be grounded in our faith and really have come to KNOW that what we believe is true. Otherwise, when challenges arise, and they will, if we haven't built on solid ground, we can be more easily shaken.
Sometimes there are things that are hard to understand. We can't see with our limited view the reason for certain events. Isaiah 55:8-9.  We can, however, have faith that in time, we'll come to understand all things. If you have prayed to your Father in Heaven and received your witness of truth, when the hard times come, you must rely on that. One of the latter-day Apostles said "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith(Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2013 General Conference)."
I think we tend to forget to do that.
We have a personal trial where we just can't understand why it would happen to us.  Somebody says something that we don't agree with, but they're a leader, so we're supposed to follow them.  God tells us to ASK him. He'll help us understand in due time.
In The Book of Mormon, one of the first stories we read about is Lehi receiving a vision (a dream) that his family needs to pack up and leave Jerusalem. His son, Nephi, goes along without heistation, following his father's counsel. He later says, "I know that [God] loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things."
Sometimes, we need to take a step into the darkness before the light comes. If we look back at the things we've felt, the things we've been assured of, we can use that testimony to get us through until we're feeling strong again. If you have read The Book of Mormon and you received an answer that it was true, and that God restored His Church through the Prophet Joseph Smith, you can trust that and pray for understanding of things that come that are difficult. As Paul says in the New Testament, "Cast not away therefore your confidence." (See Hebrews 10:35)

I have felt the Holy Spirit tell me that The Book of Mormon is true. Joseph Smith translated it. I have also had a witness that Thomas S. Monson is the Prophet for our day. I have to trust that God has a reason for all He does, and that someday, I will understand. For now, I can seek for peace until the understanding comes. I have had experiences with that. I don't always understand why, but I know God does, and that is enough.

Family History

A while ago, I printed off my ancestry fan chart and was given the challenge to fill in the holes. Since then, I've tried to get some help. I have no idea what I'm doing, so I've asked to have family history consultants come teach
me. A few times. And it's been a few years.
Today, I got online for 10 minutes, clicked on a few things, and was able to find a generation that wasn't on my list. Parents of one of my great great grandparents. I've heard that when you want to find people, their spirits assist you from the other side. This is my first experience, and I had no clue what I was doing, so I believe they were there guiding me to find them. All it took was a few minutes today.
I know not every time will be like this, but I'm amazed that God let me have this little experience to show me how important my family is. And how important temples are. That is where we bind our families for eternity.

Mom time

Since having my fourth child, I haven't exercised nearly as much as I'd like. One day I was thinking that this might be ok as long as I focusing on the kids. But then I read a talk from the October 2014 General Conference. And basically it said that our spirits are connected to our bodies so we need to take care both of them. I also know that my body is a sacred gift from God and I should take care of it, but how is a homeschooling mother of 4 supposed to find any time to fit in a workout? With baby it's hard to wake up early in the morning, and if I try to do it during the day it gets interrupted or it takes me an hour to get everybody ready and then they have to go with me...which they hate and complain about the whole time.
About 2 months ago I decided that I just needed to bite the bullet. I was awake most mornings at around 6 o'clock anyway, so I just decided to go running in the morning for a half hour. It started mostly walking in a little bit running, but then as I did it more, they're running was faster and the walking was less. There was that magical day when I ran the entire 3 miles in a half hour. I remember later that day walking up the hill near our house and not being winded.
Recently at a Stake conference, which is basically a meeting for church just locally, the President of the Stake was giving his talk. He talked about how he had read a talk from General Conference. He mentioned how the speaker had said our spirits and our bodies are connected and we cannot expect to receive revelation without keeping our bodies healthy. And then he talked about how he had decided that the easiest way for him to work out would be going running. He said that when he played sports with his kids, he was able to keep up with themnow. As I sat listening to his talk, I felt happy inside, seeing that somebody else, somebody that I hold in high regard, felt the same way. I had something in common with him.
I realize now our bodies are important and I do need to take care of mine. That doesn't mean I need to obsess over it, but I need to show the Lord I am grateful for this wonderful gift. I hope that as I keep my body in good shape, that I will be able to feel the Holy Spirit and keep my spirit in good shape as well.

On mercy and forgiveness....

I have been thinking a lot about being forgiving lately. I have been reading some about the Amish people in our country and amazed at the readiness in which they try to forgive. I feel like being unforgiving is actually more damaging to us. We re-hash things over and over and over and it can become consuming.  I have been very blessed; I am pretty easy-going and don't really hold onto things for long.  This sometimes drives my husband crazy--once it's out, I'm usually over it.

I did have one experience with being unforgiving that was a lesson to me. I have a dear friend who had some horrible things happen to her and freely forgave those who wronged her.  WE had an experience together where there were some people who just were "out to get us."  I don't know how else to explain it.  They would try to trip us in our words and actions, make anything we did into a mistake by how it was portrayed, and they were just plain mean.  Several years later, we were enjoying some time together again and talking about things of the past.  I never felt super angry or upset towards these people, but didn't have good feelings either.  While we were together, she was talking about how she just forgave them (they had been much worse to her than me!) and I realized that I needed to. Shortly after, I felt an immense weight lifted as I forgave them,  a burden I didn't know I carried. Jesus Christ's sacrifice was not only for those who sin, it was for those who have been wronged as well. Just as he forgave the woman taken in adultery for her sin, he helps those who were hurt by another's actions be free from their pain, but we have to be willing to let it go.

Alma 7:11-12 says,  "And he shall go forth suffering pains, and afflictions and temptations of every kind.  And this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he shall take upon him the pains and sicknesses of his people.
"And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities that his bowels may be filled with mercy; that he may know, according to the flesh, how to succor his people, according to their infirmities."
Jesus Christ suffered everything we will suffer.  Guilt, sorrow, hurt, sickness, weakness... everything. He did it so he'd know how to help you.  And me.


Not to be ignored, though, is the fact that we can be forgiven of our sins.  They can be wiped from our eternal plate. Everyone does wrong.  If we are truly, earnestly repenting and giving those sins up, God doesn't remember them so neither should we.  The bigger the sin, the harder the process of repentance, but the forgiveness is just as complete.

Luke 7:40-43 says,

"And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master,say on.
"And there was a certain creditor which had two debtors, the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.
"And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both.  Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?
"Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most.  And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged."

I think our society has a tendency to label people too often. Christ taught us to cast a stone only when we ourselves are free from sin.  The Amish people forgave and even helped the family of the man who came in to their community school and killed their children. As followers of Christ, we should be forgiving. It is not our place to judge someone.  We don't know their circumstances, their thoughts, their motives, their struggles. Sometimes there's no way they can ever right the wrong for what's been done. We are commanded to love.  That doesn't mean to let someone hurt us over and over and over, but it does mean we can forgive them and show them love as Christ would.

Followers of Christ should be obedient to the two great commandments:  to love God and to love one another.

If we don't, we might be carrying unnecessary (and unknown!) burdens of our own and keeping someone else from getting through their repentance.

On modesty

I think many people are a little deceived by this word. Modesty. What does it mean?
I was confused as a youth and young adult, thinking modesty meant covering your body. It is so much more. The book "True to the Faith" (which explains basic beliefs in the LDS faith) says this:
"Modesty is an attitude of humility and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If you are modest, you do not draw undue attention to yourself. Instead, you seek to 'glorify God in your body, and in your spirit.' "
Even if you are "covered" but are wearing something to try and draw attention, this could be immodest. Having extreme hairstyles could be considered immodest. Dressing sloppily or wearing pajamas as regular clothes could be immodest. Really, you need to ask God what your personal standard of modesty will be. Are you glorifying Him or trying to attract the attention to yourself? Modesty isn't just about girls wearing skimpy clothes. This applies to both men and women.
I believe our bodies are sacred and the whole world doesn't need to see their entirety. You can be covered and beautiful. I also think that if you dress and act like you respect yourself, you will get respect in return (especially in relationships). In dress, action, and grooming, you really should focus not on whether other people will notice you, but rather that you are pleasing the Lord.  He is the one whose opinion of you matters most.
That is what modesty is--realizing whose child you truly are,  and honoring Him by who you choose to be.

Death is a part of the plan of our Heavenly Father

Recently, I heard a sermon where the pastor said that he didn't think death was part of God's plan. That it was something that happened contrary to His plan. In my mind, I was thinking, "Did he just say that God's plan is flawed? Or that God doesn't expect death to happen?"  A scripture from the Book of Mormon popped into my head, Alma 12:24 "And thus we see that death comes upon mankind, yea, the death which has been spoken of by Amulek, which is the temporal death..."

The way I understand it is that death IS a part of God's plan.  We come to earth in flawed, mortal bodies, prove to Him that we're doing our best to follow Him, and we have to die to get out of these bodies so we can be resurrected.  THEN our bodies will be made perfect and immortal, like our Father in Heaven.  In Romans 8:16-17, it says that we're children of God, and as such, capable of being "joint heirs with Christ." We can receive EVERYTHING that Christ has received, but we have to wait until we receive our perfect bodies. We can live in celestial glory with our Father in Heaven and be a part of his family forever. Yay!  Death is really a good thing in the grand scheme of things.

But for those of us stuck on earth, death just stinks!  

This situation, especially, was an unexpected tragedy. It is painful for those of us left to pick up the pieces. It makes it so much easier to deal with the pain when we know that it's only a step in the eternal scheme, that we'll be reunited with that person (and others who have gone before), and that the reunion will be glorious. God planned for us to be born, prove ourselves, and die so He could give us a perfected body someday.  So we could be heirs to all that He has. We just have to have faith and be patient for that day.

For more in-depth info, go HERE

"You've sure got your hands full."

"Wow, you've sure got your hands full."

I hear this phrase quite often as I'm out with my kids.  Well meaning people wondering why I am crazy enough to have more than the 2 kids (one per parent). Or the people who are a little brave and have THREE.  Shocking!  Well, I've got 4.  And I'm not sure I want to be done yet.  They're so sweet, fun, challenging... 

I have to admit, though, that I'm actually pleasantly surprised by many people.  I haven't gotten the: "You know how to stop having kids, right?" Or "So, now you're done, right?" (And really, it's not anybody's business but mine and my husband and God's.  Not sure why people feel like they have ANY right to comment on whether or not someone's got enough kids--Ok, RANT over.)  

When took the clan to the dentist, they asked about my kids and said, "So, are you guys having more?" in a pleasant tone that was more like "Five would be cool" and less like "Uh.... don't you have enough?"  Which was awesome.  I was stopped by a stranger in the store who just gushed over what sweet children I had and also asked if I was going to add to the sweet family... in a good way. Maybe it's the small-town people who tend to enjoy family more than the rushed lifestyle in the city where there's less time to enjoy.  Whatever the reason, I'm glad I have gotten such positive feedback to my semi-large family.  

(I am one of SIX children, so I don't really feel like four kids constitutes a large family).  

Now, the big question.... Am I going to have anymore?

First, if God sees fit to bless me with more, I would be honored. I LOVE being a mother.  My husband sometimes wonders why we had any, though.  He has a harder time with parenthood, though he is a fabulous dad. So, if he and the Lord are on board for me having more, I just may... all in due time.  My youngest isn't even one year old yet... so not QUITE yet. And... I still think "aww, I miss being pregnant" and the whole snuggling a newborn thing just can't be beat! 

Psalms 127:3-5

3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Death is not the end

As I sat in church Sunday, an announcement was made that a 12-year-old boy had passed away during the week. Monday night I heard from a dear friend that her mother lost a battle with cancer.  This morning, another friend told of how she felt impressed to go spend time with her mother... not knowing that it would be the last time they would share such a moment on earth.  Then, a few hours later, my husband called to say his cousin had been in a fatal car accident.  Thankfully, his wife and new baby were not in the vehicle.
It hurts so much to lose someone you love. The ache for spending time with that person doesn't ever fully go away. That is one reason people look to God.  They want to find peace in tragedy. God gives us peace.  He has a plan for everyone, and death is only a step in our eternal plan.  It's a necessary step, painful for those we leave behind, but if we didn't die, we couldn't be resurrected and made perfect.
This weekend is Easter.  The culmination of Christ's gift to us was fulfilled when he rose from the tomb on the third day. I have asked God and have felt the Holy Spirit answer me that He is real.  Jesus Christ did come to earth and suffer for our sins.  He died on the cross and was resurrected on the third day. He did it all for US.  So WE could live again after this life, be reunited with our loved ones, and most especially with Him and with our Father in Heaven.
Because He lives, we too shall live.  All of us... rich, poor, old, young, male, female... everyone.

Testimony Tuesday... a day late

SO much on my mind lately.  I've been thinking about the importance of sharing what I believe and what makes me happy, so I started a new blog.  Not sure if anyone will read it, but I am doing it anyway.
Right now I am studying to teach the young women about faith.  What does it mean to have faith in Christ is the title of the lesson.  I've been thinking over it a lot, trying to go back a few (15... ahem) years and remember what it was like at that age.  Changing from a kid, believe everything my parents said, into an adult... having to do it on my own.  I've been reading Little Town on the Prairie with my children and we recently read a chapter about the Fourth of July, in which Laura comes to the realization that when you are a grown up, you have to choose right on your own.  No Ma or Pa to reprimand you when you make mistakes.  It has to be your doing.  People must choose on their own to follow God's will, or not to.  I think this is where faith comes in to play.  If, during these formative years, we have a foundation of faith, it is easy to choose right.

As a teenager, I knew what I was supposed to do, but didn't always do it.  I did some things because I knew they were wrong, and I had a little bit of rebellion to get through.  There's a scripture in the New Testament that says,
"If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself (see John 7:17)." I guess I was testing it, but by not doing things to see if I'd feel different.


At 15, 16... even on to 18, I still didn't quite know if I wanted to ALWAYS have to choose the right.  Or what would happen if I chose the not quite so right. I would go back and forth, being super good and slipping... until one day.
It was September.  I had been in the slipping phase. My friend was an agent for several different bands (she was a really cool and super nice gal... and a great friend) and had taken me along with her to San Diego for some shows. We had a little time to kill on Saturday, so we decided to tour Old Town San Diego. We noticed a sign that said "Mormon Battalion Visitor's Center" so we headed that way.  The visitor's center was nice (it's way cooler now!), but it wasn't that which changed me.  As I entered the building, I had an overwhelming feeling that told me "GO ON A MISSION!"  Yes, it yelled at my mind.  Over and over and over.  I had not really been thinking much about a mission, had been a bit lax in my obedience (nothing major, just minor things), but that moment changed my life forever.  I had been praying about an entirely different matter... marriage, in fact.  A handsome young gentleman that had been serving a mission was coming home soon and I wanted to know what God would have me do in regards to that.  I don't know that I've ever felt God speak to me as strongly as He did that day. I knew in my heart that God had spoken to me, and I immediately asked forgiveness of my pettiness and started to prepare for the mission I would serve.

Because of that "2x4 over the head" moment, when little temptations came, it was easy to say no.
I felt like the people in the Book of Mormon after listening to King Benjamin.  They had "a mighty change in [their] hearts, that [they] had no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually (see Mosiah 5:2)."

I know God speaks to us in different ways.  That moment cemented the things I'd known all along but hadn't had the courage to follow.  He gave me the strength to choose right, the desire to be good.  I did serve a mission and I loved it.  LOVED it.  It was an incredibly difficult, trying, but wonderfully blessed 19 months. And because of that mission, I met some amazing people who later introduced me to the wonderful man I married. (Sorry, other guy.  You were good, but WE weren't meant to be.  Though, if you hadn't been writing me and I hadn't been praying whether or not to marry you, I may not have had the aforementioned experience.  So thanks.) 
In His time, God gives us the experiences we need to have faith.  Christ is real. I am only human, and continue to make mistakes, but thanks to Christ, I can repent and be completely forgiven.  As in, HE erases them from my personal history.
Now, as a mother, I hope to instill in my children a desire to know for themselves.  I hope I can help the Young Women feel the desire to know, and if they already know, to have it reaffirmed in their hearts; cemented in.