I have been thinking a lot about being forgiving lately. I have been reading some about the Amish people in our country and amazed at the readiness in which they try to forgive. I feel like being unforgiving is actually more damaging to us. We re-hash things over and over and over and it can become consuming. I have been very blessed; I am pretty easy-going and don't really hold onto things for long. This sometimes drives my husband crazy--once it's out, I'm usually over it.
I did have one experience with being unforgiving that was a lesson to me. I have a dear friend who had some horrible things happen to her and freely forgave those who wronged her. WE had an experience together where there were some people who just were "out to get us." I don't know how else to explain it. They would try to trip us in our words and actions, make anything we did into a mistake by how it was portrayed, and they were just plain mean. Several years later, we were enjoying some time together again and talking about things of the past. I never felt super angry or upset towards these people, but didn't have good feelings either. While we were together, she was talking about how she just forgave them (they had been much worse to her than me!) and I realized that I needed to. Shortly after, I felt an immense weight lifted as I forgave them, a burden I didn't know I carried. Jesus Christ's sacrifice was not only for those who sin, it was for those who have been wronged as well. Just as he forgave the woman taken in adultery for her sin, he helps those who were hurt by another's actions be free from their pain, but we have to be willing to let it go.
Alma 7:11-12 says, "And he shall go forth suffering pains, and afflictions and temptations of every kind. And this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he shall take upon him the pains and sicknesses of his people.
"And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities that his bowels may be filled with mercy; that he may know, according to the flesh, how to succor his people, according to their infirmities."
Jesus Christ suffered everything we will suffer. Guilt, sorrow, hurt, sickness, weakness... everything. He did it so he'd know how to help you. And me.
Not to be ignored, though, is the fact that we can be forgiven of our sins. They can be wiped from our eternal plate. Everyone does wrong. If we are truly, earnestly repenting and giving those sins up, God doesn't remember them so neither should we. The bigger the sin, the harder the process of repentance, but the forgiveness is just as complete.
Luke 7:40-43 says,
"And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master,say on.
"And there was a certain creditor which had two debtors, the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.
"And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?
"Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged."
I think our society has a tendency to label people too often. Christ taught us to cast a stone only when we ourselves are free from sin. The Amish people forgave and even helped the family of the man who came in to their community school and killed their children. As followers of Christ, we should be forgiving. It is not our place to judge someone. We don't know their circumstances, their thoughts, their motives, their struggles. Sometimes there's no way they can ever right the wrong for what's been done. We are commanded to love. That doesn't mean to let someone hurt us over and over and over, but it does mean we can forgive them and show them love as Christ would.
Followers of Christ should be obedient to the two great commandments: to love God and to love one another.
If we don't, we might be carrying unnecessary (and unknown!) burdens of our own and keeping someone else from getting through their repentance.
